To give you a bit of background, I gave the play an Australian flavour (therefore no problems with accents) and as all groups seem to have a large contingent of middle-aged ladies, I wrote them in as rather revolting Aussie tourists who got caught up in World War 11. They flitted in and out of the action and even got a spot to do a little routine as the 'Old Spice Girls'.

My Humphrey Bogart character, Ric, was a crass Aussie dressed in shorts, football boots, beanie, plastic apron and an aggresive manner. Just to make it completely ridiculous I had the villain, Major Strasser and Inspector Renault (the French police chief) making their entrances from the foyer on pushbikes. John Fitz who is a wonderful actor but can't remember lines, played Sam as a mute waiter who gave the lady tourists (and the audience) a lot of aggravation. He only spoke two lines at the end, but still managed to steal the show.

We crossed time barriers willy-nilly, making snide remarks about our politicians and exploiting any current events. The script is easily adapted to whoever is available with whatever talent (some of our cast could dance, others could sing, so those talents were incorporated). Although the script is distinctly Australian, it could possibly be adapted to give it a Pommie spin. For example, our lady tourists had the names of our Adelaide suburbs, i.e. Rose Park, Elizabeth Downs, Beulah Park, etc.

If all the above hasn't turned you off, let me know and I could send you a copy.

On a similar vein, I also wrote a country and western spoof, Dark Day at Deadhorse Saloon, which Galleon has done twice and it has also been done by another theatre group, the last one having 32 in the cast (I cast everyone who turned up for auditions, kids and all!). Needless to say directing it was a nervous breakdown sort of nightmare, but it turned out very successfully. The group made a killing at the box office - mind you I could have killed some of the kids, but at least some of them could dance and sing very well. As we all know, the bigger the cast, the more bums on seats, especially with children, by the time all the aunts and uncles and grandparents turn up!